The Worst Nightmare

I’m not talking about those who have a battalion of family members and servants to live with. I’m also not talking about those who have at least one person to live with.

I’m talking about those who live alone, with no friend or relative living within the circle of 10 miles.

I’m talking about their worst nightmare.

Just imagine your body aching with fever. You don’t have enough strength to get up and take a glass of water from the table, leave alone going outside and getting food or medicine.

How helpless would you feel? Your situation is getting worse and worse, with no respite available nearby.

I’ve gone through this situation twice.

And I feel everyone should go through this situation at least once in his life. No, I’m not being sadistic, nor do I want others to face what I’ve faced.

I’m saying this because it’s a good learning experience. We learn how helpless and alone we actually are. Our ego gets dismantled in that short period of time.

We understand one more facet of life. We understand pain.

When we become healthy again, we get up stronger. As Nietzsche said, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

See, even the worst nightmare has got things to teach us.

The King of Hardships

No, no, no! I’m not going to talk about losing your family in an earthquake, getting rejected by your heartthrob or having some philosophical dilemma.

The king of all hardships is much easily available to everybody who wants it. It’s more subtle and hurts the softest corner of the heart.

Well, to break the suspense, it is all about the pain which comes from seeing others happy and successful.

I read the most profound line on this great truth in an auto: “Loag apne dukh se utnaa dukhee nahin hain jitna dusro ke sukh se.”

Just look at the pain and frustration of people who want something but find others getting it. Can there be something more agonizing that?

Then to compensate that, they tend to backbite, malign and make sarcastic remarks at the person who made them feel so. It makes them to be at peace with them. They get the satisfaction that they have tried their level best to bring that person down to their level.

Actually, you’re not truly successful yet if you are getting accolades and appreciation. The true success comes when people start taking potshots at you.

As the cliché goes, nobody kicks a dead dog.

Every kind of success can bring this pain in others. But being successful in career, earning lots of money and being popular with the opposite sex do wonder..

So, good luck for getting the optimum success. Even if it creates a calamity in others’ lives.

Silence says so many things

Like many other fortunate ones, I keep getting sarcastic and pinching remarks from people at times.

I don’t know why they do it. Reasons may vary from person to person. Some might be doing it for sheer fun (it's their best way, perhaps!). Some others might be doing it to compensate for some inner lack. Well, many others might be doing it because they don’t have more fruitful habits.

But that’s not the point.

The point is how I react to it. Or rather how should I react to it?

Well, my reaction is never premeditated. I can never expect what kind of remark might be coming, so cannot decide what my definite answer would be.

Sometimes I just get pissed off. Sometimes I give equally sarcastic answer, making sure it pinches in the deeper walls of his heart.

And then just a few times, I give the appropriate answer. A smile with silence.

It works on many levels.

First, this is the kind of reply people don’t expect for their effort at sarcasm. Actually it makes them confused. And I take my little effortless revenge.

Second, people with a little sensibility downloaded in their conscience feel guilty for their remark. Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” Well, maybe he had such people in his mind when he said that.

Third, it shows that you have composure. What can be a bigger power than remaining unaffected by something which was meant to hurt you? You feel good about yourself. You feel strong. You enjoy a cleaner conscience.

Somebody tell me how to react in this way every time rather than just a few times.

When I feel my best

Some get it when they are drunk. Some get it when they meet their loved ones. And some get it when they are sleeping.

But I get my best and most pleasant feeling when I’m improving myself.

When I’m reading some self-help book or listening to such kind of audio course, I feel optimistic about future. I think tomorrow I’m going to be better than today. And since I’m going to be better, I’m going to have a better life.

Like many others, I started off on this journey with Dale Carnegie books. They are still my favourites. I keep going back to them from time to time.

Now the arena has got much wider. Thanks to the torrent downloads, I can get the best books and courses on this topic completely free of cost.

Recently I had been concentrating on Creative Visualization. I read the famous book by Shakti Gawain. You can say, it’s one of those ones which can change your life. It asks you to visualize things in your mind. Then the things would come to you anyhow.

I'm also going through some audio materials which are about improving conversational skills. Without fail, each of them talks about listening attentively. Well, I had always read about the virtues of sincere listening, and agreed logically. But I never put into use consciously. In the past one week, I consistently reminded myself that I was going to listen to the person talking to me. Actually I mentally ordered myself to listen again and again. The results are good. Each one was saying that after a long time they have talked to somebody like this. Whoa!

There’s much more to explore to improve myself. Let’s see what I come across next.