Friday, June 16, 2006

Hurting others is a thankless job

How many times have you felt tempted to hurt somebody? Or to hurt somebody back just as a sort of payback? I think at least once. In my case, hundreds.

There have been many times when I got golden opportunity to satiate this hunger. And again, there have been times when I utilized the opportunity. I hurt the person back with as much vitriol I could possibly spew. And then I took pleasure in my triumph.

Unfortunately, that feeling of triumph was as short-lived as we find the emotion of gratitude in some people. It just vanished before I could ever enjoy it to my heart’s content. Then came emotions like regret, repentance and self-disgust. My conscience was fighting back.

I felt how different it would have been had I taken a different stance. Suppose I could have waited for a while to see how permanent my anger was. Trust me, no anger is strong enough to take on patience. It just vanishes away when the person gathers enough balls to watch it, to just let it be.

There is nothing like when anger fades away. It leaves a feeling of peace and contentment. You also feel powerful. Powerful enough to rise above the temporary annoyance and vindictiveness. Powerful enough to do what you should do rather than what you feel tempted to do.

There is another benefit also. Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” Wit (and truth) apart, there is no better way to make the person regret who has harmed you. It would surely surprise him when he won’t get the feedback he was so confidently expecting. Well, I’m talking about the people with some trace of conscience in them. For others, there is no rule. Discard them. They aren’t worth the time, yours or mine.

The worst part of hurting somebody is that most of the times we choose to hurt the people we like most. We take advantage of their vulnerability. Then we make an irreparable chink in our relation which could have been easily avoided with little bit of understanding. Seriously, hurting others doesn’t pay much. Sometimes it doesn’t pay at all. On the contrary, it makes us pay. And it doesn’t say thanks also.

6 comments:

Aladdin said...

jee alok miyan.. hum bilkul sehmat hai is baat se ki jab gussa gayab ho jata hai to uske baad jo sukh aur sampurnta mahsoos hoti hai.. uska koi jawab nahin..

Alok Ranjan said...

Haan yaar! Gussa aane par thoda intezaar karna badaa sahi rehta hai.

Anonymous said...

Hi this is alok band from new york, i was just going through various blogs and found ur blog, its really impressive, infact i have added ur link in favourites, nice to see such people doing great work.

Alok Band
bandalok@gmail.com

Yashika Totlani Khanna said...

Interesting read. Would agree abt the 'hurting whom we like part'... Man! Cant agree more when u say it just dents beautiful realtionships...

Anonymous said...

very true ..i have seen u r profile in orkut ...thats how i could reach u r blog .....i do suffer from the disease called "anger" coz of my emotional bonding ....i liked u r thoughts very much .... waiting for u r forthcoming posts .....if u want to know abt me ..i have given u a add request in orkut ...iam anil from hyd...

Archana said...

You have stopped writing Lokee?