Thursday, August 28, 2008

From Euphoria to Dysphoria

You must be having some hobbies. Hobbies like sleeping, dancing, watching films, listening to music etc.

But here I’m talking about the hobbies in which you create something. For example, painting, writing, cooking etc. Yeah, you get my point. I’m talking about the hobbies in which you don’t enjoy things passively, but actively participate to make something new to express yourself.

Now I have one such hobby. I make cartoons. And I go through different emotions while I make cartoons and see them at different points of time.

Generally, when I make a cartoon I start feeling that I have produced something good, if not great. Well, that happens one moment after I finish making it. When I see that cartoon after one day, more often than not the euphoria remains there.

But why does it happen that my feelings change completely if I see the same creation after a long time, say one month or one year. What seemed to me a fine work of creation initially starts appearing shoddy and mediocre piece of work afterwards.

Why does it happen?

Did I find that work better then it was initially because I was too attached to it due to the emotions of a creator? And now, do I find it sheer mediocre because I can see it more objectively and impartially?

That could be one explanation.

The other explanation could be that I could have gone through a small mental evolution during that time period. My perspective has changed, and now I can’t see the same quality in my work I saw at the moment of creating it.

But the most plausible explanation could be quite different. It may not have anything to do with the objectivity of the creator or the quality of work. It’s just that as an artist I have a complex relationship with my artwork. I fall in love with it one moment and fall out of love the next moment. There’s no reason behind it. There’s no use of finding any reason behind it.

As an artist or a creator, I just need to understand this roller coaster of emotions and be comfortable with it.

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